False Friends

That's right, I'm going there. The fake friend, the Psuedo Supporter. To make things simple, here's a handy reminder to all you phony people.

• If you're not sick, don't say you are.
• If you're not hurt, don't pretend to be.
• If you're not in trouble, don't act like you need help.
• Don't play your friends. We do talk to each other, and we will find out.
• Save story time for the kiddies. Nobody has time for imaginary drama.

There's a quote from the novel The View from Saturday that goes, "Many friendships are made and maintained for purely geographical reasons." I agree. If an argument wouldn't make living with you completely unbearable, I would gladly tell you exactly how I feel about you and your little escapades. You have the ability to be an amazing person; I've had great fun spending time with you when you weren't being a complete dolt. Unfortunately, I don't think you have a grasp on that particular facet of your personality.

I'm sure you think you're very clever and that you've got your entire life under control. I'm fairly confident that you think you've got everybody else's lives pretty wrapped up too. For all I know, you may. My personal belief is that you're so insecure in yourself that you've got to create a second life where all these extraordinary things happen to you to keep your entourage entertained. Here's a tip: if people wanted more drama in their lives they would watch more daytime television. People may pay more attention to you when you're drowning in drama, but they'll enjoy your company more if you were just yourself, no acting.

To summarize, I am reaching my last nerve with people and their false fronts of friendship. I am not a part-time friend. Either drop attitude and the false identity, or I'm dropping you.

A Lovely Digression on Human Evolution

The new year brings us to yet another Presidential Election. Smear campaigns, debates, signs in front lawns, bumper stickers, rallies, and the occasional political issue will be emerging from their 4-year hibernation. In light of all this Democracy, the gears in my head have been reeling backward, searching for historical stability beneath political sabotage. I find personal stability in nature, which aside from environmental issues, has nearly nothing to do with politics. My next venture is toward earlier American peoples: the Native Americans. I know, it's cliche, and I'm lame for even going there. But I do believe there is something to be said for the ideals these people had. The speeches they made and the lessons they taught were spoken so eloquently, one still feels their solemn reverence when reading them. I'd like to start there, and progress to a rant on society's (lack of) evolution.

"If the white man wants to live in peace with the Indian, he can live in peace...Treat all men alike. Give them all the same law. Give them all an even chance to live and grow. All men were made by the same Great Spirit Chief. They are all brothers. The Earth is the mother of all people, and all people should have equal rights upon it.... Let me be a free man, free to travel, free to stop, free to work, free to trade where I choose my own teachers, free to follow the religion of my fathers, free to think and talk and act for myself, and I will obey every law, or submit to the penalty."
-Heinmot Tooyalaket ( Chief Joseph), Nez Perce Leader

I find that incredibly moving. From today's perspective it seems loosely structured, and could never work. But looking at it a bit more closely, it's not so far-fetched. "...Treat all men equally..." Still fighting that good old fight today, aren't we? The part of that which is terribly moving to me is, "...where I choose my own teachers..." To not be forced into a setting where one is seated on a bench and TOLD right from wrong, but to go into the world and let the world itself teach you... a life-long internship. I do believe one can learn more about life outside of a classroom or a church than within one's walls. People should be able to experience that.

"Before our white brothers arrived to make us civilized men, we didn't have any kind of prison. Because of this, we had no delinquents. Without a prison, there can be no delinquents. We had no locks nor keys and therefore among us there were no thieves. When someone was so poor that he couldn't afford a horse, a tent or a blanket, he would, in that case, receive it all as a gift. We were too uncivilized to give great importance to private property. We didn't know any kind of money and consequently, the value of a human being was not determined by his wealth. We had no written laws laid down, no lawyers, no politicians, therefore we were not able to cheat and swindle one another. We were really in bad shape before the white men arrived and I don't know how to explain how we were able to manage without these fundamental things that (so they tell us) are so necessary for a civilized society."
-John (Fire) Lame DeerSioux Lakota - 1903-1976

The above commentary blows me away. The fact that it's so sarcastic and yet so poetic makes me all warm inside. What if we behaved that way? Not sarcastic, we're too sarcastic as it is. I mean a society that relies on helping one another, sharing, open-door policies. "...When someone was so poor that he couldn't afford a horse, a tent or a blanket, he would, in that case, receive it all as a gift." They weren't asking anything in return, just to keep a part of their community safe and healthy. No one person is capable of supplying to another, but a community is. Not charities or welfare, but helping hands. Small-scale actions that don't require federal assistance or funding, just neighbors getting together to help each other out. I know it sounds suspiciously like Communism, but that's not what I'm aiming for. Instead of nation-wide programs and lists and lines and maximum paperwork for minimal support, why not neighborly gestures, understanding, and level-mindedness before rash decisions? On the whole, it's impossible. But a little here, a bit there... is a big difference in the world.
"...The value of a human being was not determined by his wealth..." Nearly every aspect of our lives tells the rest of the world our value, or what we want them to think our value is. Elegant cars, loud speaker systems, extravagant jewelry, where we went to school, fancy restaurants, i-pods, even the clothing we wear are all symbols to represent how well off we're doing. On a date, one tips well to prove he is not only generous, but well endowed. If I pointed to a stranger and asked, "What do you think he is worth?" I guarantee most people would give me a figure in dollars. I'd guess 1 in 20 would give me an answer not involving money or wealth, and probably less than 1 in 100 would bother to talk to the person before passing judgement. Nobody would care about his talent, his ambition, his family, what his favorite color is, or if he's ever seen a sunset fade to starlight. I honestly wonder if people would bother to answer me on their way to classes, work, meetings, or other status-earning opportunities. I have a wall covered in Post-It Notes with quotes written on them. One of them states, "Go into the world and do well, but more importantly, go into the world and do good." I think we could all use to do a bit more good in the world, for the sake of each other.

When all the trees have been cut down, when all the animals have been hunted, when all the waters are polluted, when all the air is unsafe to breathe, only then will you discover you cannot eat money.
-Cree Prophecy

Does this remind anybody else of The Lorax? (Here's the video for those who haven't read the book, you sheltered people.) A children's story making an environmental statement. I'm no Puritan; I wear leather shoes, chew gum, and I'm pretty sure I own things made out of materials from the rainforests. Sometimes it's unavoidable, and sometimes it's convenience. But I leave my car behind when I can, I don't kill for sport, I don't dump chemicals, or purchase products that destroy the environment. This season I'm volunteering some time towards planting trees. I know I'm ruining the planet, but at least I'm trying to do something about it. Will our greatest and richest CEO's and company presidents be content in their penthouses with a view of smog-choked city streets, or will they yearn for a clear-skied vacation with crystal waves lapping against sandy shores, and birds singing in the treetops that cast shade across them? True, they have the funds for said vacation, but will it still exist?

I feel that people are moving backward in some sense. We care more about inanimate objects than we do each other. We won't travel out to each other for fear of spoiling the tires on our cars, the soles of our shoes, our frequent flier miles, or our hair, but we'll take a plane, two trains, and a rental car to camp out overnight in the pouring rain for tickets to a concert. Instead we content ourselves with technology; e-mail, text messages, or maybe the elusive phone call can replace our presence. Can an electronic message of black and white compete with flesh and blood? We shy away from each other's hardships and difficulties instead of embracing each other wholly and working together. In times such as these, when the economy is down, as are our spirits, we do not need another investment, another stock, another bond. We need each other, and to take a lesson from those before us. The Native people of this land had wisdom that warned us of our actions, our government, our environmental practices, our love of the Almighty Dollar. We chose to ignore this wisdom as a whole, and now we still have to conquer this mistake. We need to step back from "The Big Picture," of a world of trade and commerce, big-screen TV's and Blackberry phones, media circuses circulating around drug-ridden pop stars, and "reality" programming. We need to back away slowly, like a dog threatening to bite, and we need to really look at what's around us. Violence, crime, poverty, hunger, environmental destruction, and mutilation of natural resources are bigger issues than paparazzi catching red-carpet drama. I think people need to start thinking less in regards to how they measure up in the world and more about how they're impacting and influencing the world. Together we can go a lot of good, or a lot of damage.

Politically speaking, I have no real knowledge of the subject. I read up on candidates, I research the issues online, watch debates or addresses on TV if I catch them, but by no means am I incredibly informed. I understand very little about our government, or any government for that matter. What I do know seems like candidates are using valuable time and efforts into getting themselves in a losing situation. Nobody ever agrees with a President's actions 100% of the time. It's expected, we're but human. My interest lies within the candidate himself more than the standing he receives with the public. Howard Dean was laughed off the ballot last election because he pumped his fist in the air and exclaimed "Woo-Hoo!" during a public speech. I think that's amazing. For a man to be so passionate, so involved in his belief to do good for his country, and the people in it- he should have been PRAISED. Instead the media went berserk and belittled him. He was an active environmentalist, long before he was a political figure, and he was a year-round citizen. He traveled the country meeting people, supporting and promoting what he believed in, long before Election Season. Years before in fact. I doubt that was a very well planned campaign scheme. For a man to be passionate about his community, his beliefs, his causes... I'd rather have a representative with a passion for my country than a script-reading apathetic any day. Some politicians remind me of grade-school Student Government elections; they tell people anything to get a vote, then do whatever they please once the title is theirs. Grade-schoolers never did get better lunches, longer recesses, and no homework on Fridays. Will today's leaders be able to give us clean water and air, space for trees and animals to grow, and peace to enjoy it in?

I do not think the measure of a civilization is how tall its buildings of concrete are, But rather how well its people have learned to relate to their environment and fellow man.
Sun Bear of the Chippewa Tribe

Comin' through the Rye...

I am fascinated by Holden Caulfield. He interests me in a way only a fictional character could. He has a hindsight innocence about him; he knows there is evil and injustice in the world, he bluntly explains several cases, yet his way of looking at the world is with innocent, clear eyes.

He's brilliant, as can be seen by the things he says or illustrates, yet he has let the world convince him he's a failure. He openly points out the flaws in people, usually "phonies" and "fakes," the kind of people he interacted with at several schools, usually the wealthy, the popular, or the athletic. He also finds rare beauty and sadness in people that society gravely overlooks- the obscene (Sonny), the humble (nuns), the elderly (former professors), the young, and the lost (Jane, Allie).

The young. Holden is desperately holding onto his childhood. I could go into a deep discussion about how his name reflects that, getting into Latin and the origins of words. If you're that interested, go to Sparknotes. There's a brief enough explanation there. It's a good starting place. Anyway, Holden grasps onto childhood ideas and innocence like the falling reach for stability. He finds solace in children; a young boy walking along the curb singing "Catcher in the Rye," children ice skating, and especially in his younger sister Phoebe. He nearly idolizes her. The entire beginning of the novel he wants to talk to his sister, but it's too late to call. When he gets to his hometown he immediately goes and buys her a record. He speaks so fondly of her, her brilliance, her quirks. He is eager to surround himself with the childhood innocence he himself is losing.

He misquotes the poem "Catcher in the Rye." He believes the line is "If a body catch a body..." when it is actually "If a body meet a body..." which his sister points out to him later. He sees himself on a cliff, before a rye field full of playing children, and he is catching the children before they fall off the cliff. He's protecting them from falling out of innocence. If he had gotten the line correct, to "meet a body," his perception would have been so different. I think he wouldn't have seen a cliff, or even children playing in it. He probably would have seen a bunch of stuffed shirts in ties talking about gas mileage, something he loathes greatly. I wonder if he purposely changed the line in his head to help his cause, to further encourage his quest for innocence.

I think I'm attracted to the idea of Holden Caulfield because in a way I hold on to my childhood as well. I like to find innocence and uncorrupted values in life, even through my own flaws.

I don't think Holden would like me very much. He'd put on a charming face and give me a good run, but in his head I think he'd be tearing me apart, up one side and down the other. He'd take pieces of my personality I've either forgotten about or hidden, and exploit them, making fun of them in his own silent way. Then he'd walk away, laughing at me in his head, wile still holding a sense of pity for me. I think that's what fascinates me most.

Stardust

I watched the movie Stardust for the first time today. I love the novel by Neil Gaiman, and I strongly encourage you to read it. The movie is amazing, out of context. It has a plot captivating and exciting, a love story, a battle scene... several, actually. It's witty, it's cute, it's amazing. It only grazes the surface of the novel. So many characters and events were left out. The reasons or events that lead up to major points in the story are warped or dropped entirely. If one were to compare the movie to the book point for point- they'd hate it. The movie covers the main points of the plot. Gaiman had a hand in the writing, directing, and producing, so of course, it doesn't stray too far from the original plot. I think that if all the details that make it magical were put in the movie... we'd have a movie longer than Titanic, and we all knew walking in that one that the boat sinks at the end. Simply, it's an amazing movie, if you're able to watch it without comparing it to the book. The movie strays so far from the book I couldn't recognize it if I walked in halfway through, but it's still a good movie. I do recommend reading the book, though. It's far more enticing than the movie.

An Ode to Stupidity

I'm disappointed with people. Not all people have disappointed me, this time at least; tonight it's a specific few traits in people that have my mind.

Responsible Who? The people who never take responsibility for their actions. I don't care if you're stressed, tired, sick, dehydrated, busy, or just plain lazy. If you screw up then step up and accept it. Does the phrase "Suck it up, cupcake," mean anything? You can't go through life blaming your screw-ups on things out of your control. The fact that it was raining last Tuesday has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that you ditched half your classes and are now failing. You made a decision, and now you should be adult enough to live up to it. Making excuses is what kids do when they forget to take out the garbage or try to hide their vegetables in their glass of milk. If you're adult enough to make your own decisions, you're adult enough to take responsibility for them. When you talk to me and whine about how much your life sucks but refuse to admit that you screwed it up you end up just looking stupid. I, for one, am not going to call you out on your behavior because I know you'll just make another excuse. I don't want to hear excuses. I don't want to hear it at all, which is probably why we haven't been talking much.

Respect, anybody? I am a person who gives every living person some significant amount of respect just for getting out of bed and trying to do something with their lives. In return, I hope to get the same courtesy from most others, especially my friends. I try to respect my friends by listening when they speak, having an interest in their lives, and not being belligerently influenced when in their presence, unless of course, they welcome the influence. When a person enters my home, I expect that they can stand on their own two feet and that they have something to contribute to the social situation, may it be conversation, company, or perhaps just a friendly smile. I do not, however, expect to have to take care of you, clean up after you, and cater to you pretending that you're in need of some sort of medical attention. Of course, you wouldn't want us to call 911 for you, because then we could prove you're just being a dumbass. If you're going to be around me, respect me enough to at least be somewhat coherent when you greet me. You can get polluted later, if my company is really that poor. It's insulting when a "friend" shows up sozzled and expects me or my friends to take care of him. It would be a different story entirely if we were all sitting together and somebody felt ill.

Here's a hint: When you know you're hindered, and you know people don't like it- don't talk to them. Let your ridiculous habits ebb, then go to your friends'. Nobody wants to take care of you when you're slobbering and insufferable, no matter how charming you think you can be.

Road Rage? To the ladies and gentleman who decided to force me out of a parking lot in reverse on a one-way, nearly sideswiping the car beside me: You should have your licenses revoked. If you're going the wrong way in a one-way, and a car is coming toward you, do not approach them. Do not drive toward them, inching closer until you are 3 inches away, then turn on your brights, crank your radio, and blare your horn, expecting me to move. You're in the wrong. You're going the wrong way in a one-way. You saw me pull into the lot from at least 150 feet away, and yet you felt the need to continue going the wrong way, though the opportunity for you to turn around and exit safely was present. Not only was that stupid, it was dangerous as hell. Then, when I decide not to be a huge pain in the ass by backing my car back into the street, allowing you, and your incredibly bad taste in music to pass, decide you need to swerve around me, giving a full inch of clearance between our cars, and make decidedly evil looks at me through your windows, yelling incomprehensible whatnot through the windows you never rolled down. So now I'm stuck half in a parking lot, half in a street, locked in because you decided to act like idiots. One would think you'd finally wore out your stupidity. No such luck. Now a truck pulls out of a neighboring lot, into the street where my car is regrettably unable to move. Do you, the patrons of the Idiotmobile decide to back up and at least give me the room to finish getting into the street? No. Do you wait for the truck to pass so as not to endanger the lives of more people? Of course not! You decide to floor it, sending your car pulsing through with a hairbreadth of space on either side of your car, nearly taking out the truck in the street, my car, and the dumpster on the corner. You seriously all should go back to kindergarten. You are irresponsible, selfish, and obviously never learned that when an arrow points left, it means you go left. And when there's a circle with a slash through it, it means "no," as in "Do Not Enter." Seriously, this campus may kill me.